This list of 10 parenting tips is a guideline for successful parenting of a child with learning disabilities.  In addition to the incorporation of these tips into your parenting skills, understand that often, therapy for children with learning disabilities and their parents can increase feelings of success and self acceptance, and decrease feelings of isolation.

1.  Do not underestimate your child’s potential.  Encourage him or her to develop to the best of their ability while pursuing their own interests.

2.  Consult a professional specializing in working with Learning Disabled children to begin to pool the public resources available to children with Learning Disabilities.

3.  Help your child to not feel alone with their disability.  Find positive role models such as an adult living productively and successfully with a Learning Disorder.

4.  After securing appropriate educational services for your child, (IEP’s, Resource Classes, Special Education Aides etc…) STAY INVOLVED with your child’s educational support team and ask for recommendations of how to create a positive learning environment for your child at home. 

5.  Keep in mind the feelings of your spouse and other children.  Remind them that just because your Learning Disabled child gets more of your time does not mean that he or she gets more of your love. 

6.  Be honest with yourself and be aware of your own limitations.  You cannot be a perfect parent, nor do you have an unlimited reservoir of energy.  Do not foget self care.

7.  Keep a sense of humor.

8.  Do not get caught up in comparing your child to his or her other classmates.  Judge your child’s progress by comparing your child only against themselves. 

9.  Slow down, allow time to reflect on you and your child’s accomplishments, not just his/her, or your own shortcomings. 

10.  Seek out support groups for parents of children with Learning Disabilities. 

One of the best and easiest ways to inform yourself about your child’s learning disability is by reading a good book on the subject. There is a ton of literature available about learning problems, so it may be a bit of daunting task to choose something to start with. Luckily, there are many informed parents and specialists out there who have already waded through this flood of information, so you don’t have to dive in on your own. The following is a list of written resources that have made it past the critical gaze of those in the know:

1. No Easy Answers: The Learning Disabled Child at Home and at School, Sally L. Smith, $23 (paperback), available at Amazon.com

This has been the book that parents of learning disabled children have turned to for more than fifteen years now. Smith is the parent of a learning disabled child, the founder and director of the Lab School, and an education professor at the American University, so she’s extremely well-qualified to write about this subject. The book covers a wide range of information, including a look at how learning disabilities are diagnosed and tips on how to make sure your child is getting the education he or she deserves. The updated version includes sections on the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), ADD, and ADHD.

2. All Kinds of Minds: A Young Student’s Book About Learning Abilities and Learning Disorders, Melvin D. Levine, $28.70 (paperback), available at Amazon.com

Even though this book is geared toward young readers, it’s a valuable resource for both parents and children to learn from together. Levine is a professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School and a staunch child advocate. Here, he introduces different types of learning disabilities through stories told from the point of view of five elementary school students. Each student talks about their classroom experiences, their struggles and triumphs. This approach will help children with learning problems to see that they’re not alone and that there are strategies that can they can implement to ease their scholastic difficulties.

3. Helping Children Overcome Learning Disabilities: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents and Teachers, Jerome Rosner, $18.95 (paperback), available at Amazon.com

The approach of this book is different from most others on the subject. For starters, the author suggests that parents and teachers avoid using the label “learning disabled” and instead focus on the specific problems that their children or students face. Rosner is a professor of pediatric optometry at the University of Houston and has written several books on working with children who have learning issues. Readers will appreciate his accessible explanations of each type of learning difficulty, as well as his positive and practical solution-based approach.

The term learning disability (LD) refers to a group of disorders that affect a broad range of academic and functional skills including the ability to speak, listen, read, write, spell, reason and organize information. A learning disability is not indicative of low intelligence. People with learning disabilities sometimes have difficulty achieving at their intellectual level because of a deficit in one or more of the ways the brain processes information.

Interestingly, there is no clear and widely accepted definition of “learning disabilities.” Because of the multidisciplinary nature of the field, there is ongoing debate on the issue of definition, and there are currently at least 12 definitions that appear in the professional literature. These disparate definitions do agree on certain factors:

1. The learning disabled have difficulties with academic achievement and progress. Discrepancies exist between a person’s potential for learning and what he actually learns.

2. The learning disabled show an uneven pattern of development (language development, physical development, academic development and/or perceptual development).

3. Learning problems are not due to environmental disadvantage.

4. Learning problems are not due to mental retardation or emotional disturbance.

Experts estimate that 6 to 10 percent of the school-aged population in the United States is learning disabled. Nearly 40 percent of the children enrolled in the nation’s special education classes suffer from a learning disability. The Foundation for Children With Learning Disabilities estimates that there are 6 million adults with learning disabilities as well.

Little is currently known about the causes of learning disabilities. However, some general observations can be made:

• Some children develop and mature at a slower rate than others in the same age group. As a result, they may not be able to do the expected school work. This kind of learning disability is called “maturational lag.”

• Some children with normal vision and hearing may misinterpret everyday sights and sounds because of some unexplained disorder of the nervous system.

• Injuries before birth or in early childhood probably account for some later learning problems.

• Children born prematurely and children who had medical problems soon after birth sometimes have learning disabilities.

• Learning disabilities tend to run in families, so some learning disabilities may be inherited.

• Learning disabilities are more common in boys than girls, possibly because boys tend to mature more slowly.

• Some learning disabilities appear to be linked to the irregular spelling, pronunciation, and structure of the English language. The incidence of learning disabilities is lower in Spanish or Italian speaking countries.

Children with learning disabilities exhibit a wide range of symptoms. These include problems with reading, mathematics, comprehension, writing, spoken language, or reasoning abilities. Hyperactivity, inattention and perceptual coordination may also be associated with learning disabilities but are not learning disabilities themselves. The primary characteristic of a learning disability is a significant difference between a child’s achievement in some areas and his or her overall intelligence. Learning disabilities typically affect five general areas:

1. Spoken language: delays, disorders, and deviations in listening and speaking.

2. Written language: difficulties with reading, writing and spelling.

3. Arithmetic: difficulty in performing arithmetic operations or in understanding basic concepts.

4. Reasoning: difficulty in organizing and integrating thoughts.

5. Memory: difficulty in remembering information and instructions.

Among the symptoms commonly related to learning disabilities are:

• poor performance on group tests

• difficulty discriminating size, shape, color

• difficulty with temporal (time) concepts

• distorted concept of body image

• reversals in writing and reading

• general awkwardness

• poor visual-motor coordination

• hyperactivity

• difficulty copying accurately from a model

• slowness in completing work

• poor organizational skills

• easily confused by instructions

• difficulty with abstract reasoning and/or problem solving

• disorganized thinking

• often obsesses on one topic or idea

• poor short-term or long-term memory

• impulsive behavior; lack of reflective thought prior to action

• low tolerance for frustration

• excessive movement during sleep

• poor peer relationships

• overly excitable during group play

• poor social judgment

• inappropriate, unselective, and often excessive display of affection

• lags in developmental milestones (e.g. motor, language)

• behavior often inappropriate for situation

• failure to see consequences for his actions

• overly gullible; easily led by peers

• excessive variation in mood and responsiveness

• poor adjustment to environmental changes

• overly distractible; difficulty concentrating

• difficulty making decisions

• lack of hand preference or mixed dominance

• difficulty with tasks requiring sequencing

When considering these symptoms, it is important to remain mindful of the following:

1. No one will have all these symptoms.

2. Among LD populations, some symptoms are more common than others.

3. All people have at least two or three of these problems to some degree.

4. The number of symptoms seen in a particular child does not give an indication as whether the disability is mild or severe. It is important to consider if the behaviors are chronic and appear in clusters.

Pointers for parents of children with learning disabilities:

1. Take the time to listen to your children as much as you can (really try to get their “Message”).

2. Love them by touching them, hugging them, tickling them, wrestling with them (they need lots of physical contact).

3. Look for and encourage their strengths, interests, and abilities. Help them to use these as compensations for any limitations or disabilities.

4. Reward them with praise, good words, smiles, and pat on the back as often as you can.

5. Accept them for what they are and for their human potential for growth and development. Be realistic in your expectations and demands.

6. Involve them in establishing rules and regulations, schedules, and family activities.

7. Tell them when they misbehave and explain how you feel about their behavior; then have them propose other more acceptable ways of behaving.

8. Help them to correct their errors and mistakes by showing or demonstrating what they should do. Don’t nag!

9. Give them reasonable chores and a regular family work responsibility whenever possible.

10. Give them an allowance as early as possible and then help them plan to spend within it.

11. Provide toys, games, motor activities and opportunities that will stimulate them in their development.

12. Read enjoyable stories to them and with them. Encourage them to ask questions, discuss stories, tell the story, and to reread stories.

13. Further their ability to concentrate by reducing distracting aspects of their environment as much as possible (provide them with a place to work, study and play).

14. Don’t get hung up on traditional school grades! It is important that they progress at their own rates and be rewarded for doing so.

15. Take them to libraries and encourage them to select and check out books of interest. Have them share their books with you. Provide stimulating books and reading material around the house.

16. Help them to develop self-esteem and to compete with self rather than with others.

17. Insist that they cooperate socially by playing, helping, and serving others in the family and the community.

18. Serve as a model to them by reading and discussing material of personal interest. Share with them some of the things you are reading and doing.

19. Don’t hesitate to consult with teachers or other specialists whenever you feel it to be necessary in order to better understand what might be done to help your child learn.